How an Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Session Works
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a psychotherapeutic approach that beautifully combines talk therapy with trauma healing and somatic therapy. It helps you connect with and heal the different parts of yourself.
By understanding your inner world, IFS allows you to develop compassion, self-awareness, and emotional balance, enabling you to heal core wounds and negative self-beliefs. If you're curious about how an IFS therapy session works, this article walks you through the process and what you can expect.
What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
The goal of IFS is to help you heal wounded parts, reduce inner conflict, and restore harmony. IFS recognises that we all have various internal “parts” of ourselves that show up as thoughts, emotions, and unhelpful behaviours, with each “part” playing a role to help you navigate your way through life, (we might say things like; “I’m in two minds about it”, or “a part of me wants to stay, and another part of me wants to go”). At the center of this system is your "Self," which serves as a compassionate, calm, and wise leader.
Some common parts include:
Managers: These parts keep you safe and prevent emotional pain (e.g., perfectionism, avoidance, or control).
Firefighters: Parts that act impulsively to manage overwhelming feelings (e.g., overeating, substance use, or anger).
Exiles: Parts that carry deep pain, shame, or trauma and are often hidden away.
When these parts are understood and healed, they generally become more helpful in their roles and begin to show up in more positive ways in your life.
What to Expect in an IFS Therapy Session
1. Creating a Safe Space
At the beginning of the session, your therapist will create a safe and supportive environment. Building trust is essential, as you'll explore vulnerable aspects of your inner world. You might start with grounding exercises to settle into your body and nervous system.
2. Identifying and Exploring Parts
Your therapist will guide you to connect with your inner world. This might begin with a specific feeling, thought, or situation that you're struggling with. For example:
You’re highly reactive in your relationship.
You notice a critical voice that tells you you’re not good enough.
Your therapist will ask questions like:
"Where do you feel this in your body?"
"Can you sense this part’s energy or emotion?"
"What does this part want you to know?"
By turning your attention inward, you begin to notice, describe, and interact with the part.
3. Meeting the Self
Central to IFS is accessing your Self, the calm and compassionate core of who you are. Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, discovered that this essence referred to in IFS as “Self” is inherent in every human and remains unharmed regardless of what the client may have experienced in their life.
The therapist helps you step back from your parts and approach them from the perspective of the Self. You may hear prompts like:
"Can you be curious about this part?"
"How does this part feel about you getting to know it?"
As you connect with your Self, you'll find it easier to approach these parts of you with compassion, understanding, and non-judgment.
4. Building Relationships with Your Parts
Once you’ve identified a part, you’ll begin to understand its role and purpose. Even protective or reactive parts have good intentions—they want to keep you safe or manage pain. For example:
A self-critical part might be trying to motivate you to avoid failure.
An angry part might be protecting you from feeling vulnerable.
Your therapist will encourage you to ask questions like:
"What is this part afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?"
"What does this part need from me to relax or step back?"
This gentle dialogue helps your parts feel seen and heard, allowing them to soften and release their burdens.
5. Healing and Unburdening
In IFS, the healing process involves helping wounded or "exiled" parts release the pain, beliefs, or trauma they’ve been carrying. This step, known as unburdening, can be deeply emotional and freeing. Your therapist may guide you to:
Acknowledge the part's pain and validate its experience.
Offer support and compassion from your Self.
Visualize the part letting go of its burden (e.g., releasing it into light or water).
As parts unburden, they often take on new, healthier roles, such as providing creativity, confidence, or joy.
6. Integration and Reflection
At the end of the session, your therapist will help you integrate the work you’ve done. You might reflect on:
What parts showed up during the session?
How did you connect with your Self?
What shifts or insights did you experience?
Your therapist may also suggest practices to stay connected with your parts between sessions, such as journaling, mindfulness, or checking in with your internal world.
How IFS Can Help You
IFS therapy is a powerful tool for healing because it supports you in:
Understanding Your Inner World: You learn to recognize and relate to the different parts of yourself.
Healing Trauma and Wounds: By unburdening exiled parts, you release pain and find peace.
Reducing Internal Conflict: Parts that once felt stuck or reactive can relax and work together harmoniously.
Developing Self-Compassion: You build a deeper connection with your true Self, which leads to greater emotional balance and self-acceptance.
Whether you're struggling with anxiety, trauma, co-dependency recovery, emotional healing, or feeling stuck in life, IFS therapy provides a gentle, compassionate path toward healing and transformation.
Final Thoughts
An Internal Family Systems therapy session is a journey inward—a chance to understand, heal, and reconnect with the parts of yourself that need attention. By fostering a relationship with your Self and your parts, you gain clarity, peace, and a deeper sense of wholeness.
If you’re ready to explore IFS therapy, consider scheduling an Internal Family Systems session today. It could be the first step toward transforming your relationship with yourself and others, achieving inner harmony, and living with greater emotional freedom.